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Why good little queers should stfu
I am not usually involved in social justice cases.
I am, as with most everything on the internet and even in my offline activities, perfectly content to sit on the edges and watch people talk and be busy. I will, occasionally put in my two cents but mostly where no one can see this. Part of this is because engaging in these discussions takes a lot of energy which I just don’t have, the other part is because I have a hard time expressing myself in writing as well as the fact that I get shy. I convince myself no one cares what I think and then don’t voice it at all.
But that is a different matter, for a different post and not what I want to address right now.
Last night, I made the mistake of voicing an opinion.
This got posted yesterday evening. (Yes, I am using an anonymizer. I do not trust him not to use this to find me and that should tell you something.)
I was uncomfortable after reading this and felt that it was homophobic in nature. Assuming, foolishly, that Matthew Inman is a reasonable person, I tweeted at him:
The reply I got was less than encouraging:
I replied again, doing my best to open some kind of discussion, hoping that he would at least do me the courtesy of taking me seriously:
He didn’t.
So fine, I didn’t bother replying to him again and he didn’t pursue it.
As it turned out, though, someone else had been following the conversation and asked both of us if it was possible to favourite that entire hilarious conversation.
In response, The Oatmeal posted this in the comments to his entry:
I will not even go into the whole "it's a joke so it doesn't count" mess that's going on in there.
But that link goes directly to my first tweet.
The link was pointed out to me and I mentioned it to shanaqui, as I do more or less anything.
She then tweeted the following:
“Wow. I have no idea who @Oatmeal is, but apparently a homophobic bully. Cool. Good to know who to avoid.”
And he retweeted it almost instantaneously, though added “haha what?”
Later on, he added a tweet about how he was going to 'crush' her.
Now imagine, for a moment, that you are a popular internet comic artist. Imagine you get about half a million unique visitors a month and over a million total hits a month. You have 183.730 followers on twitter.
That’s you.
And then you turn to your fans and go “here are two people who disagree with me. Here is where to find them. Do what you want.”
That never ends well. The internet is a savage enough place as it is. Handing the location of ‘the enemy’ to your fans? Worse.
The predictable happened and both shanaqui and I got slammed with dozens and dozens of tweets calling us homophobes ourselves, saying we just don’t get this amazing humour or don’t understand satire. Some claimed we were simply closeminded and even compared us to the Westboro Baptists. Others simply stated that this was in no way homophobic, other queer people identified themselves as such and repeated that they didn’t think it was homophobic so clearly we were wrong. We were accused of being overly sensitive, trying to make it all about ourselves, overreacting, unaccepting of a ‘fair’ discussion …
It escalated, at one point, to a rape threat, though that was quickly deleted. Other tweets said we simply need “a good fucking” or that we clearly had “sand in [our] vaginas”.
You know what that is?
Bullying.
Outright, clear as day bullying.
But you can’t point that out, because then you’re overreacting again.
It got to a point where shanaqui had to close twitter because the torrent of abuse was triggering her anxiety.
The replies continued even this morning and apparently we'll get put up in his list of "retarded tweets", which just further illustrates what a shining example of humanity this is.
In the grander scale of things, this is nothing. Minor internet drama.
In hindsight, I should even have seen this coming, as Matthew Inman is the author of fine works such as “a man sitting down to pee is a sissy bitch” and “a man who likes twilight is gay”.
I still wanted to make this post. To remind myself a bit. To point it out to others who might read his comic. To just get it out of my head. To whore for attention. Any reason will do.
Tl;dr? Matthew Inman is an asshole and the internet is mean.
As a last note, just in case: I am only voicing my opinion here. I do not claim to speak for any group and I do not claim any affiliation with any groups. I cannot even claim to speak for shanaqui here, for all that she did proof it. All I am is a queer person who was bothered by an offhand joke and who got bullied into silence. Or not so much.
I am, as with most everything on the internet and even in my offline activities, perfectly content to sit on the edges and watch people talk and be busy. I will, occasionally put in my two cents but mostly where no one can see this. Part of this is because engaging in these discussions takes a lot of energy which I just don’t have, the other part is because I have a hard time expressing myself in writing as well as the fact that I get shy. I convince myself no one cares what I think and then don’t voice it at all.
But that is a different matter, for a different post and not what I want to address right now.
Last night, I made the mistake of voicing an opinion.
This got posted yesterday evening. (Yes, I am using an anonymizer. I do not trust him not to use this to find me and that should tell you something.)
I was uncomfortable after reading this and felt that it was homophobic in nature. Assuming, foolishly, that Matthew Inman is a reasonable person, I tweeted at him:
“@Oatmeal That just makes you look incredibly homophobic.”
The reply I got was less than encouraging:
“@Ehlyah *whoooooosh*”
I replied again, doing my best to open some kind of discussion, hoping that he would at least do me the courtesy of taking me seriously:
“@Oatmeal Calling it a joke and giving such non-responses don't actually make it better. Your intent was probably nothing bad >
@Oatmeal but that doesn't actually make it not homophobic.”
He didn’t.
“@Ehlyah *whoooosh* part 2”
So fine, I didn’t bother replying to him again and he didn’t pursue it.
As it turned out, though, someone else had been following the conversation and asked both of us if it was possible to favourite that entire hilarious conversation.
In response, The Oatmeal posted this in the comments to his entry:
“Dear readers, please don't be like this person:
http://twitter.com/Ehlyah/status/92657966104313858
This post is a joke and really only written so I could use the expression "sexy torpedos" in a sentence. I also really wanted to find a way to work bearded lumberjacks into my blog. *
-the Oatmeal
* "8 ways to seduce a bearded lumberjack using scented candles & smooth jazz" got filed in my /abandoned_comics/ folder.”
I will not even go into the whole "it's a joke so it doesn't count" mess that's going on in there.
But that link goes directly to my first tweet.
The link was pointed out to me and I mentioned it to shanaqui, as I do more or less anything.
She then tweeted the following:
“Wow. I have no idea who @Oatmeal is, but apparently a homophobic bully. Cool. Good to know who to avoid.”
And he retweeted it almost instantaneously, though added “haha what?”
Later on, he added a tweet about how he was going to 'crush' her.
Now imagine, for a moment, that you are a popular internet comic artist. Imagine you get about half a million unique visitors a month and over a million total hits a month. You have 183.730 followers on twitter.
That’s you.
And then you turn to your fans and go “here are two people who disagree with me. Here is where to find them. Do what you want.”
That never ends well. The internet is a savage enough place as it is. Handing the location of ‘the enemy’ to your fans? Worse.
The predictable happened and both shanaqui and I got slammed with dozens and dozens of tweets calling us homophobes ourselves, saying we just don’t get this amazing humour or don’t understand satire. Some claimed we were simply closeminded and even compared us to the Westboro Baptists. Others simply stated that this was in no way homophobic, other queer people identified themselves as such and repeated that they didn’t think it was homophobic so clearly we were wrong. We were accused of being overly sensitive, trying to make it all about ourselves, overreacting, unaccepting of a ‘fair’ discussion …
It escalated, at one point, to a rape threat, though that was quickly deleted. Other tweets said we simply need “a good fucking” or that we clearly had “sand in [our] vaginas”.
You know what that is?
Bullying.
Outright, clear as day bullying.
But you can’t point that out, because then you’re overreacting again.
It got to a point where shanaqui had to close twitter because the torrent of abuse was triggering her anxiety.
The replies continued even this morning and apparently we'll get put up in his list of "retarded tweets", which just further illustrates what a shining example of humanity this is.
In the grander scale of things, this is nothing. Minor internet drama.
In hindsight, I should even have seen this coming, as Matthew Inman is the author of fine works such as “a man sitting down to pee is a sissy bitch” and “a man who likes twilight is gay”.
I still wanted to make this post. To remind myself a bit. To point it out to others who might read his comic. To just get it out of my head. To whore for attention. Any reason will do.
Tl;dr? Matthew Inman is an asshole and the internet is mean.
As a last note, just in case: I am only voicing my opinion here. I do not claim to speak for any group and I do not claim any affiliation with any groups. I cannot even claim to speak for shanaqui here, for all that she did proof it. All I am is a queer person who was bothered by an offhand joke and who got bullied into silence. Or not so much.
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<3 sleepflowered@lj
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In any case, I'm going to think twice from now on. Or not, because I know myself.
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i'm sorry you got jumped on so horribly, but like i said, i do really respect you for it. you even debated with people who were clearly just in it for a fight, and that's very mature (and patient, and shows a willingness to educate).
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And again, thank you. It's a whole new world to me.
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(also, lol at all the queer people saying that it wasn't homophobic because ~they~ found it ~funny~).
I'm sorry you two had to deal with this bull.
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(There can be only one opinion!)
Thanks.
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Power leads to abuse and all that, I suppose?
And my gut says "behalves"? /grammarnerd
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You're very welcome. :)
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You're right. This is out-and-out bullying, and shouldn't be condoned, even if Matt Inman and his supporters are claiming that it's 'funny'. It's one thing to disagree with the interpretation of a joke that you tell (even if it's completely tasteless, as Inman's was); it's another to tell his followers where to find the dissenters and harass them. The sad thing is that I actually liked many of Inman's comics, like his grammar-advice ones, but some of the jokes he's making are just plain unfunny, as are his insensitive responses to people who call him out on his, well, unfunny jokes.