As I lay here six feet down

I'm in the middle of exams now and it's exhausting and I really, very much, truly dislike group projects. Utterly.
Getting someone else's point of view can be annoying but this is just.... exhausting. Ah well, one over with and the second one to be handed in Monday. We'll see. I'm doing my share, anyhow.

The new job is definitely proving interesting. I'm strangely independent in my work. Strangely in the sense that I'm very much not used to it. I've spent the last 6 odd years working in operational. Leaving it is. Well it's a shock to the system, but one I'm enjoying. I'm getting to do some fun things even as my to do list is ever expanding.

Holiday period was good. First Christmas spent with the in-laws and really one of the better ones I've had in the last years.
It's strange that, eleven years into the relationship, I'm still somewhat unsure of where I stand with the in-laws re: them accepting my presence, but this definitely helped. I think the chocolate did to.

Because we never really know each other as well as we think, in response to this post I'd like you to ask a question. Anything about which you are curious, anything you feel you ought to know about me. Silly, serious, personal, fannish. Ask away.

I am supposed to be getting ready for bed and my back is killing me, but this is what I'm up to right now.



Whoooooo

Apparently it takes me being more than a bit tipsy to get me to post, soooo here we go.

Had dinner out with my family today. Parents, brother, his girlfriend.
Topic to avoid: brother's lost his job (didn't find this out till I was walking back to the train station with the parents). It's really too bad, he liked his job. It was probably because he'd been sick two weeks in two months, which really isn't his habit, but they apparently didn't realise that.
Anyway, the dinner was so lovely. There was a lot of alcohol, which explains my current state. But oh god the food. North sea shrimp with potato crisp, potato puree, buttermilk foam and cherry beer sauce. Veal sweetbreads with fennel in a duvel (beer) sauce, spring lamb with celery in a different beer sauce and a chocolate and cherry candies dessert. With wine. Lots of wine. Also cava. Such nice wine.
My tummy is the happiest right now.

Jobwise all is going well. Promotion is in sight and I'm in a probation period right now (till July). Lots of work, but I enjoy because it's not just taking calls like I've been doing for the past years. There's translation work, stuff that challenges my technical side, I get to send team-wide mails to remind them of procedures, I get to train new people... It all shows they trust me and have confidence in me, which is amazing and is doing me a world of good. I love it, really.

On the other hand, the question remains of how long I'll still be there. I'm really pushing myself (past depression, past listlessness, past whatnot) into getting my driving license and once I have this, I really need to, want to start looking for jobs in/near Cardiff. I want to move. I need to move.
In that same light, Nikki and I are getting married soon. Soon being a relative term, but... We are, if everything goes according to plan, going to request to register when I'm there in March and then actually get married in August. There are no words to describe how excited I am. We've been together for 7.5 years, I love her more than anything. It's time. This is, above anything else, what I want to do.
We're probably not going to invite many people, if any at all. We both see getting married (well, civil partnered, thank you UK) as an intensely private thing and we're going to treat it as such. We can't realistically afford a big party anyway.

This is my life, it is awesome. Except for the depression, but that'll go away.

I am not usually involved in social justice cases.

I am, as with most everything on the internet and even in my offline activities, perfectly content to sit on the edges and watch people talk and be busy. I will, occasionally put in my two cents but mostly where no one can see this. Part of this is because engaging in these discussions takes a lot of energy which I just don’t have, the other part is because I have a hard time expressing myself in writing as well as the fact that I get shy. I convince myself no one cares what I think and then don’t voice it at all.
But that is a different matter, for a different post and not what I want to address right now.

Last night, I made the mistake of voicing an opinion.

( And then there was drama )


Tl;dr? Matthew Inman is an asshole and the internet is mean.



As a last note, just in case: I am only voicing my opinion here. I do not claim to speak for any group and I do not claim any affiliation with any groups. I cannot even claim to speak for shanaqui here, for all that she did proof it. All I am is a queer person who was bothered by an offhand joke and who got bullied into silence. Or not so much.

This was supposed to be a post with pictures from my flat (especially since I even tidied yesterday!) but my camera batteries were dead and I have no spares, so I will have to disappoint all of you.
Still, the flat is coming along nicely. It's now tidy and all the boxes are empty except for the ones with books I'm getting rid of. I'm even getting on a bit with decorating. I'm making paper flowers out of old magazines and by glueing them onto wire, I can put them in a vase. It's fun and keeps me busy while I'm doing other things. I'm also making paper stars and stringing them onto thread so I can make a sort of bead curtain to cover up my curtain- and doorless pantry but it's a lot of work since I really underestimated the number of stars I'd have to make. Still, it's something to do.
Now if only I knew what to do about my bare walls. I'm not allowed to paint and I want something classy without putting up some cliche poster.
I also have internet! Which took long enough (and I'm still updating from work!) but it means my evenings are slightly less maddening for loneliness.

In other news, apparently I am a scary person.
This is really all I conclude from the fact that people refuse to talk to me when I'm doing something that bothers them.
So let's just make this very clear: if I am doing something that annoys the shit out of you or that pisses you off or you think I'm being an ass and I should knock that off?

It's possible that I will tell you no, but I might also say yes and apologise and stop it. I am not an ogre (but I might be an onion). I am actually a nice person.
Going to tattle to my girlfriend, however? Will not help. At all. Ever. I will be more likely to laugh because you're behaving like a child. If she disagrees with me on something, she'll tell me. If she thinks I did something wrong, she'll tell me. But she is not my mother, nor my keeper.
I repeat, if you have a problem, just talk to me. Reply to me on twitter, leave a comment here on DW or on the corresponding LJ, send me an email (ehlyah at gmail), talk to me on msn (blast_that_bunny at hotmail) or aim (paraparapom). I am plenty reachable and I do not actually bite, I'm even mostly an idiot. :)

Work is still nice, permanent contract and job security are lovely things.
On the crap side, we're now doing some interteam competition and it is going to ruin our lives. Basically, by fulfilling certain criteria (being on time, being under 6 minutes in average call duration, getting good points in your evaluations, etc), you can gain points. If you don't quite fulfill a criteria, you'll get slightly less points, if you're not too great at it, even less and so on till you get 0. All the points in a team are made into an average and basically, the best team after ten weeks will get some mysterious reward.
After one week, lists with people's individual scores are already circulating and people with low scores are being eyed for it. Competition between teams is also starting to rise.
I hate it. I really do. It's so damn pointless.
And all this because corporate decided to introduce a performance culture. I knew it'd end badly.
Now to live through nine more weeks of this crap.

In the mean time I wish I could punch the client I'm talking to right now. Fucking condescending douche. I know how to solve your problem with the software, you don't, so fucking LISTEN TO ME and DO AS I SAY. Questioning my motives or what I'm doing will only tick me off. D:
Good thing I'm done in fifteen minutes. x_x